How to talk to your parents about their funeral
Talking to your parents about their funeral and end-of-life choices can be hard. Here is how to make the conversation easier.
Talking to your parents about their funeral and end-of-life choices can be hard. Here is how to make the conversation easier.
One of the more difficult conversations most people will have with their parents is discussing their desired funeral and end-of-life arrangements. This conversation can be upsetting for anyone who has to consider the loss of their parents. It can also be difficult for the parent themselves who may not want to think about the end of their life. However, this guide will help ensure that the key topics are covered and that when it is done everyone involved will feel at ease.
It is never too soon to have this conversation. In many cases, if they have many years ahead, it may be easier to have the conversation sooner than later.
* Let them know it is important that their end-of-life wishes be honoured and known by their family or their executor * If arrangements need to be made after they die, it may not be clear to the family what they want * Discussing end-of-life preferences ahead of time reduces stress and possible disagreement
Also, the conversation does not need to happen in one sitting. In some cases, several sessions may be needed to cover all the topics that need to be discussed.
Some people ask their parents to have a conversation and formally sit down to discuss it. Others might want to bring it up casually to gauge the level of comfort or discomfort with the topic beforehand.
Other opportunities might be after you watch a funeral scene in a movie (Four Weddings and Funeral or Death at a Funeral, are two good options) or you might suggest a walk through a local graveyard for some exercise if one is nearby and bring up the topic.
Another easy way is to bring up the subject after going to an actual funeral. As people age, they tend to go to more funerals than weddings, so it will be top of mind if they have been to the funeral of a friend or family member recently.
There are many options to be considered for end-of-life arrangements. Here are key questions to ask and information that should be documented:
How their remains will be handled can be surprisingly complex as there are many options these days. Many years ago a burial in a coffin at a church or public graveyard was the traditional funeral option. However, it gave way to a binary choice which included cremation, where the body is reduced to ashes. Newer options have become available and are explained below.
There are no upsells and there is certainly no sales pressure or haggling.
You provide the necessary information we need via our online platform to file paperwork and to conduct a cremation. You pay a single, one-time fee that is all-inclusive. Then everything is handled for you by our licensed funeral directors.
Once you have had the necessary conversations with your parents, you will want to have them document all their choices and preferences. This can be assembled into one document that can be notarized and stored with their will in a safe place.
Be sure to offer assistance on the more complicated processes, like pulling together important documents.
Many people choose to make pre-arrangements and pre-pay for their funeral, which includes the various funerary services, urn or casket selection, as well as pre-payment for a grave plot or urn niche. Eirene offers pre-arrangement plans. Find out more information here.