Cleaning Out Your Emotional Attic Before You Die: Secrets and Reconciliations

Anita Chauhan

Death is a fickle thing. It typically makes people uncomfortable (because most of us don’t deal with it on a regular basis) and many of us really aren’t sure how to handle it.

But that’s okay! That’s why we’re here.

Before you go, it’s important to make peace with your loved ones to avoid feelings of regret. Of course, there will always be things that are beyond your control, but cleaning your emotional closest (as best you can) is well within your means.

Cleaning your emotional closet is the act of reconciling any loose ends that may be unravelled upon your death.

It will allow you to sleep soundly knowing that no one will be in for a nasty surprise, or even just thrown for a loop without anyone around to explain. It is not only for your benefit but for the benefit of your loved ones because they have a chance to ask any questions and learn everything they want to know before you’re gone.

Cleaning your emotional closet is important for:

1. Secrets and lies
2. Cleaning your life
3. Joint accounts
4. Resolutions through words
5. Reconciliations and forgiveness

It is important to speak the truth about any secrets or lies that could come out upon your death. This helps avoid embarrassment and hurt feelings for your living relatives. Imagine finding out your parents are not biological to you, or you have a half-sibling from another relationship?

Cleaning your life refers to designating a close friend or relative to literally sweep your mess under the rug, destroying any evidence of your secrets that you do not want to come out. This person may clean your digital life, physical evidence (like medicines, photos, etc.), and more.

It’s also important to reconcile your joint accounts. Children or powers of attorney may be tasked with cleaning your debts and bills, cable, phones or internet accounts, and any other memberships you may hold. Make sure to add a joint account holder or appoint the account to someone else so they are not struggling.

Have any loose ends in your relationships? Now is the time to tie them up. Ask for or provide forgiveness, thank people for being in your life, say “I love you”. Sometimes these things are hard to do but it’s harder once you’re gone.

Reconciling and forgiving can be some of the most powerful things you do before you die. By seeking forgiveness (or providing it) it can help others to be at peace once you are gone. It’s not always within your power to do so, but you can sure try.

Cleaning your emotional attic is not easy by any means, but it is a worthwhile activity as it provides peace and comfort to you and to those around you.

You’ll feel better about where you are leaving things having done so.

Need more information? Check out our blog for more end of life tips and tricks.