Parents play a significant role in people's lives, and so when a father or mother dies, it can be devastating. If someone you know has lost a parent and is grieving, you may want to provide comfort and give your condolences but may be at a loss for what to say or how to say it. Below are examples of condolences you can use for a friend or colleague whose parent has died.
How to give condolences
Knowing what to say when someone you know is experiencing a loss can be challenging. However, anything you say will be appreciated if the intentions are good. Nonetheless, below are general things to consider or avoid when choosing your wordsYou can also see a more general discussion about condolences in this article: What to Say When Someone Dies: Words to Say to a Grieving Person at a Funeral.
- Saying anything is often better than saying nothing.
- Let people know you are there for them.
- Offer sympathy.
- Avoid cliches and justifications.
- Avoid focusing inward.
- Avoid policing someone else's feelings or actions.
- Avoid unwarranted mentions of religion or spirituality.
- Continue support before and after the funeral.
- Offer a sympathetic ear.
- Offer a helping hand.
How to give condolences to a person whose parent has died
When giving condolences to someone who has lost their mother or father, do it in person to create a personal connection. Condolence messages can be communicated in a phone call, via texting, email, social media, or by sending a card or gift through the mail.
When choosing a condolence message, consider your relationship with the deceased person's son or daughter. For example, a coworker may not have met the father or mother but would like to be supportive and comforting. In this case, the message may be more general. In contrast, a niece or nephew providing condolences may have more to say since the deceased person would have likely had a significant role in their life. These scenarios are considered in the examples below.
Messages for a friend that lost a father
If your friend has lost their father, you may have had a relationship with their parents at some point. Therefore, a more personal message may be in order. Below are some examples for someone:
- "I am so sorry to learn about your dad's passing. I know you must be devastated, but I wanted you to know I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm available to help you whenever you need it. Just let me know."
- "I'm so sorry about your father. I remember [describe memories or events you had with their father]. He will be greatly missed."
- "Your dad was the best guy I've ever known! He was always there for you and your family. I'll miss the joy he brought into all the lives around him. I know you're hurting right now. I'm here if you need to talk."
- "I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's death. Your father was one of the kindest people I've ever met, and I was lucky to know him. I'll miss him greatly."
- "I looked up to your dad and am heartbroken to hear about his death. I'll always have wonderful memories of him. I'm so sorry for your loss."
- "Your dad led a remarkable life. I have never heard anyone say a bad word about him. I'm grateful that I got to know him, and I'll miss him terribly. "
- "I am so sorry to hear about your father's passing. He was such a kind and wonderful man, and I'm going to miss him greatly. I am keeping you in my thoughts, and I am here if you need anything.
Messages for a relative who lost a father
If a relative has lost a father, it is likely you have or had a relationship with them at some point. Therefore, this may also be an opportunity to make the messages more personal and reminisce about the times you had with the deceased person and his role in your relative's life. Below are some examples:
- "I'm so sorry to hear about your father's death. Your father always lit up the room at any family event, and I will miss him terribly. You and your family are on my mind, and I'm here if you need to talk.
- "Your dad was always there for me when I was growing up. I'll always remember how he listened to and cared for everyone in the family. I am going to miss him terribly. Sending you thoughts and prayers during this difficult time."
- "I have such great memories of your dad. [Explain memories and events you had with the deceased person]. I'm so sorry for your loss."
- "Your dad was always such a caring and thoughtful relative. He was loved and will be greatly missed by everyone in the family. Keeping you in my thoughts. Let me know if you need anything."
- "Your father was so proud to have you as a son/daughter. He loved you very much, and I hope that helps you find comfort in this difficult time. Sorry again for your loss, and know I am here to help you in any way possible."
Condolences for a coworker, employee, or client who has lost a father
If someone you know on a professional level has lost their father, you may want to let them know they are in your thoughts. However, if you are not overly close outside of work or you have not met their father, it is best to keep things more general and professional. Here are some examples:
- "I was sorry to hear about your father's passing. Please accept my sincerest condolences. Please let me know if I can do anything for you and your family."
- "We at [company name] want to offer our condolences for the loss of your father. We wish you and your family peace and comfort during this difficult time."
- "I'm so sorry about your father's death. Please accept my condolences. You're in my thoughts and prayers."
- "Everyone in the office wants to offer our sincerest condolences. We hope you can find love and comfort during this challenging time."
- "Thinking of you during this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss and want to extend my condolences to you. I'm sure your father was a great man who will be missed."
Condolence messages after the death of a mother
Condolence messages after the death of a mother are going to be similar to those given after the death of a father. However, using correct phrasing, such as mom, mother, etc., is essential when saying or writing condolence messages.
Messages for a friend who lost a mother
- "I always admired your mother's caring and selfless nature. She was a pleasure to be around when I was growing up, and I will miss her terribly. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers."
- "I will always remember the special times I spent with you and your mother. She was always there for me growing up. She will be missed dearly."
- "Losing a mother is very difficult, and I know how close you were to her. You are in my thoughts and prayers. If there is anything I can do, please let me know."
- "I am so sorry to hear about your mother's death. I know this is a difficult time, so please let me know if there is anything I can do to make things easier. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
- "You are a dear friend to me, and I want to support you in any way that I can. Your mother was an amazing woman, and I always looked up to her. You are in my thoughts and prayers."
Condolence messages for a relative who lost a mother
- "I am so sorry to hear about your mother's death. Her passing is a great loss for everyone in the family. If you need anything, please let me know."
- "Your mother was loved by everyone she met. Her loving and caring spirit will be missed by many. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time."
- "There is no one in this world quite like your mother. She was a special person and will be with you always. I am here to talk if you need it, and please let me know if you need anything else."
- "Your mother was so proud to have you as a son/daughter. I hope you can find some comfort in the love she had for you and shared with those around you."
- "Your mother was an extraordinary person to me and everyone that met her. She will be greatly missed. Please do not hesitate to call me if you need anything."
How to comfort a coworker, employee, or client who lost a mother
- "My deepest condolences to you and your family during this time. I'm sure your mother was an amazing woman and will be greatly missed."
- "It is never easy to lose a loved one, especially someone so close. The team at [company name] sends our sincerest condolences. We hope you find comfort during this difficult time."
- "I was saddened to hear about the passing of your mother. I know how important she was to you. Please accept my sincere condolences and let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your family."
- "I want to offer you my sincerest condolences on the death of your mother. I never got the chance to meet her, but I'm sure she was a wonderful person. You and your family are in my thoughts and my prayers."
- "My sincere sympathy and condolences to you and your family on the loss of your mother. I hope you can find the strength and comfort you need to get you through this difficult time."
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